Beach Resort Etiquette

A few reminders for families while traveling this summer

Modern etiquette is not about memorizing rules. It is about giving people the tools to connect.

This last weekend, our family visited a resort that was new to us: The Sanderling, on the northern end of the Outer Banks in a little town called Duck. We have spent many (all) summers on the Outer Banks, usually in Pine Knoll Shores, but this year we went further north. (Every time we told the kids where we were going, it turned into a round of Duck, Duck, Goose.) We feel lucky to have such a beautiful resort option in our home state.

Before any trip like this, I go over a few reminders with my kids because knowing what to do frees them up to actually enjoy themselves AND it keeps me from feeling like a broken record.

Here are a few beach resort etiquette reminders to share with your children before your next trip:

• Treat every space with respect: the lobby, the pool deck, and your hotel room. You are still responsible for making your bed, even on vacation.

• Keep outdoor voices outside. Once we’re indoors, we use our indoor voices. We are going to have so so so much fun, but we will still respect those around us.

• Thank the staff throughout your stay, and learn their names when you can. Research from Nicholas Epley and Amit Kumar shows that we consistently underestimate how much our expressions of gratitude mean to the people receiving them. When you see something great, say it. And if you see something that needs correcting, address it directly with staff in person and give them a chance to make it right instead of sharing it online.

• Note the dress code and honor it. It’s helpful to know in advance whether the restaurant requires a blazer for gentlemen, so research before you go.

• Let others exit the elevator first. And resist the urge to press every button, Buddy the Elf style.

• Return your towels to the towel drop. Someone has to pick up what you leave behind. It’s a small act of responsibility and consideration for other guests.

• Order for yourself in restaurants. This one is non-negotiable in our family. Every time a child speaks for herself to an adult, she builds self-efficacy. And that’s something she’ll need until the end of time.

• Leave spaces better than you found them. Push in the chair. Stack the pool toys. It takes ten seconds, and it’s a habit worth practicing, especially on vacation.

• Write a thank-you note to the resort. That same gratitude research found that people who write thank-you notes overestimate how awkward it will feel and underestimate the impact. The note matters more than you think. This is something I’m working on with my children this week as we reflect on our stay.

Here's a small glimpse into the beautiful Sanderling Resort, which feels more like a charming beach house than a traditional hotel. Inside the front doors, you're greeted by a Gustavian-inspired reception desk in chipped limewashed wood, shaker-cabinet details, and a soft coastal palette of sandy beiges, faded blues, and muted greens. It's a place you never want to leave. I'm happy to answer any questions about our trip!

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And this is exactly what we practice in every Mannerly class. Modern etiquette and manners for 2026. If you'd like to reinforce that foundation for your child this summer, we have a few spots left in August and September.

• Summer Etiquette Classes for Kindergarten - 5th Grade (kindness, confidence, conversation skills, and thoughtful social behavior)

  • Making Manners Fun - August 11, 12, 13 from 9:30am - 10:30am

  • Dining Etiquette - August 11, 12, 13 from 2:00-3:00pm

  • Art of Conversation - August 11, 12, 13 from 3:30pm - 4:30pm

• Back to School Pop-up Etiquette Workshop Kindergarten - 5th Grade (confidence, first impressions, friendship building skills)

  • August 12th or August 13th from 12:30pm - 1:30pm

• Middle School Young Ladies Cotillion for Grades 5–8 - this new class for young ladies only will include our traditional cotillion curriculum (modern manners, dining etiquette, and friendship skills)

  • Learn More and Register

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For paid subscribers, I share essays each week on the distinctions that actually matter, always backed by social science and psychology. If you’ve been thinking about joining, I’d love to have you.

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Mannerly Favorites

Check out a few Mannerly things I’ve tried and genuinely love here. Including this summer ratan handbag and this beautiful raffia tote.

Also sharing our favorite sunhats here.

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Thank you for being part of our Mannerly community - I sincerely appreciate you being here and please leave any questions below.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Elizabeth Anne

Founder, Mannerly

About the Author

I’m Elizabeth Anne Russell, founder of Mannerly™ and Mannerly School of Etiquette.

After a 17-year career in management consulting, I left corporate life to build a modern etiquette and social-skills education company inspired by my late mother and a deep belief that kindness, confidence, and social fluency are life skills.

Through Mannerly, I work with children, families, schools, and organizations to teach timeless manners through a modern, social-science-backed lens, helping people move through the world with greater presence, confidence, and consideration for others.

Here on The Mannerly Edit, I share thoughtful guidance on modern etiquette, raising socially confident children, business etiquette, hosting and gathering well, and navigating life with grace in a complicated, often uncomfortable world.

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